LumUtena:Those Obnoxious Ohtori!
by shanejayell
Summary: Lum visits Ohtori! Very, very odd...
1. Chapter One

Lum! / Revolutionary Girl Utena! : Those Obnoxious Ohtori!  
  
An odd little mini-fic, I'll continue if I feel like it! I don't own any of there characters, thank god, and profit in no way from this story! In fact, I can't even explain where the idea came from.  
  
The strong fall breeze ruffled her hair, so Kozue reached up and pushed her windblown, wavy blue hair away from her face. She wanted it out of her eyes as she gazed up into the sky with a certain amount of amusement.  
  
"Now there's something you don't see everyday," she remarked to no one in particular, as the UFO hung there steadily in the air above Ohtori.  
  
It didn't look real, more like a bad special effect from a b-movie. It was saucer shaped, with blinking lights spaced out along it's rim, and big, round windows dotted along the top. Kozue would have thought it was a publicity stunt for some cheesey film, but there was no way it could be hovering unsupported in the open air like that! She even looked around for a crane of some kind, but no luck.  
  
A small hatch popped opened on the top, and a young woman stuck her head out to ask Kozue crossly, "Excuse me, but could you direct me to Tokyo, please?"  
  
She was dark hared, Kozue could tell that much, though she could see there were some odd colors mixed in with it, streaks of red and blue. Kozue also thought she looked sort of cute, but at that distance it was a bit hard to tell.  
  
She tried to shout out the directions, but the strong wind seemed to pull Kozue's words from the air before they could reach the girl. The strange girl impatiently climbed out on top of the saucer, and Kozue sweatdropped at the sight of the girls costume! She had on a small bikini top and bottoms, boots and that was all. Strangely, they were all done in what looked like tiger fur!  
  
She grew tired of trying to hear Kozue's shouts over the breeze, so she rose up into the air from the top of the saucer and began to fly down to the ground. Kozue gaped at her, as she descended towards her smoothly. Smoothly, that is, until she hit the strong winds between the saucer and the ground. She twisted, turned, then finally just lost control, plummeting towards Kozue!  
  
"Ooof!" Kozue yelled, sprawling on the ground with the tiger-girl stretched out there on top of her. Kozue blushed as the girl's face was pressed right up against her breasts! She firmly grasped the girl's head, but then faltered a moment as she felt the smakll. cone shapped horns on each side of the pretty girl's head! She pulled the girl up to her feet, then tried to revive her.  
  
"What happened?" the newly awakened young woman asked Kozue slowly, as she looked admiringly at her. Kozue explained, and then the girl gasped softly. "Did you... touch my horns?" she asked her, blushing a little bit. Then she waited there, anxious for Kozue's answer.  
  
"Well, yes," a slightly confused Kozue answered, and then the girl blushed a bit harder, frowning a little.  
  
"What is your name, please?" she asked Kozue in a firm tone of voice as she gazed intently into her eyes.  
  
"Kozue Kaoru," the blue hared girl answered with a small frown. "What's wrong with touching your horns?"  
  
"My name is Lum," she said, smiling, "and by our ancient Oni customs, if you touch the horns of an Oni, we are engaged!" She then leaned over, and gently but firmly kissed the very stunned looking Kozue.  
  
Lum settled back on her feet, and Kozue sat there, looked at Lum blankly for a moment. Then, like a freshly cut tree, she just fell right over in a dead faint.  
  
"Darling!" Lum cried out worriedly, kneeling down beside her and frantically shakling the out cold Kozue. 


	2. Chapter Two

Lum! / Revolutionary Girl Utena! : Those Obnoxious Ohtori!  
  
An odd little mini-fic, I'll continue if I feel like it! I don't own any of there characters, thank god, and profit in no way from this story! In fact, I can't even explain where the idea came from.  
  
Part Two  
  
"Kozue?" the familiar voice asked gently. "Kozue, wake up," it soon began to urge her. Kozue's eyes slowly fluttered open, to gaze up at the worried face of her brother, Miki. He smiled a bit as her eyes fully opened, then said, "You were found laying out on the ground in front of the dorms."  
  
"I was found?" she echoed his words, feeling really confused. "Then it must have been a dream..."  
  
"A dream?" Miki asked her curiously. He sat down by her bedside on her desk chair, his uniform starched and crisp as it always was. There seemed to be an odd look on his face, though.  
  
Kozue's cheeks colored a bit as she remembered. "It was a very strange dream," she started. Then Kozue continuing on, "There was a flying saucer, and a strange girl climbed out of it. She flew, but then she lost control and fell on top of me. When I helped her up, I touched her horns, and she said that we were engaged!"  
  
Kozue blushed harder, faltering a little as she finally made herself say, "And then she ki... kissed..."  
  
"Darling!" the happy voice exclaimed as Lum stuck her head around Miki's slim form, "I'm so glad you're awake! I was so worried!" She then launched herself at Kozue, engulfing her in an eager hug!  
  
Kozue struggled in Lum's grip, unable to get free as the Oni clasped Kozue close to her. "What's going on?" she managed to get out.  
  
Miki smiled a bit uncomfortably at the shocked expression he saw on Kozue's face, as she peered desperately at him over Lum's bare shoulder. "She told me her name's Lum," he softly explained, and then he shrugged eloquently, "and that she has to be engaged to you."  
  
  
  
"What do you mean, we have to be engaged?" Kozue asked her later, the three sitting around a small table in the cafeteria. Lum, who still just wore her tiger striped bikini, was drawing the gazes of all the students around them, but she didn't seem to care. Instead, she just totally focused on Kozue.  
  
"Amoung the Oni, our horns are very symbolic," Lum patiently explained to her. "Now that you have touched mine," she blushes a bit, "it means that I am no longer pure to the other Oni."  
  
"I guess it's kind of like losing your virginity," Kozue remarked thoughtfully, giving a sideways glance to Miki.  
  
Miki blushed at that. "So what do you do now?" he asked Lum curiously.  
  
She grabbed Kozue's arm firmly. "We're engaged, and an engaged couple should always be together," she said cheerfully. "I'm going to stay with her forever!"  
  
Kozue got a hunted animal look on her face. "We're not engaged!" Kozue loudly protested. "I don't know about your stupid customs, but I never agreed to anything!" she said a bit desperately.  
  
"Yes, we are engaged!" Lum protested a bit louder, drawing the attention of the crowd of students around them. Not that they weren't already looking at the pretty girl in the tiger striped bikini, but...  
  
"Oh no, we are not!" Kozue shot back at her angrily. She didn't notice the odd sparks that began appearing around Lum, jumping from her body to anything metalic nearby, but Miki sure did!  
  
He grabbed Kozue and pulled her to the floor, even as Lum yelled "YES.. WE... ARE!" and then she threw a massive ball of lightning! Thankfully, there wasn't much in it's way other than a wall, which promptly exploded.  
  
"Then again," Kozue said very quietly as she got back to her feet and then dusted some of the plaster and wall materials off her school uniform, "being engaged just might be negotiable." 


	3. Chapter Three

Lum! / Revolutionary Girl Utena! : Those Obnoxious Ohtori!  
  
An very odd little mini-fic, which I'll continue if I feel like it! I don't own any of there characters, thank the goddess, and profit in no way from this story! In fact, I can't even explain where the idea came from.  
  
Part Three  
  
Kozue snuggled down into the warmth of the bed, and the feeling of the warm body lying next to her. 'I don't usually bring the boys home,' she thought to herself drowsily, reaching over to who ever was laying beside her. She stroked the skin, and frowned sleepily at how smooth it was. She reluctantly opened her eyes a little, then they popped open on their own.  
  
"Good morning, Darling," Lum said to her sweetly. The naked girl laying there beside Kozue asked her cheerfully, "Did you sleep well?" Kozue looked dumbly at the pretty dark hared girl, until the situation began to sink in.  
  
"Aaah!" Kozue cried out, sliding as far away from Lum as she could get, and promptly falling off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thump. "Ow! Lum, what are you doing in my bed?" Kozue demanded.  
  
"But Darling, engaged couples should always sleep together," Lum explained to her patiently. She climbed out of bed and picked her bikini up off the floor, which she promptly slid on. "Aren't you going to get dressed?" she asked.  
  
Kozue picked her own clothes out and dressed as quickly as she could manage. She could feel Lum's gaze on her, and a small blush colored her cheeks. "What are you going to do when I'm in classes?" Kozue asked Lum curiously.  
  
"I had to ask," Kozue sighed, Lum's arms wrapped firmly around her neck as the Oni floated like a banner extending behind her! "Would you stop that?" Kozue pleaded, seeing the crowd they were drawing.  
  
"But Darling, I want to be with you all the time!" Lum answered her happily.  
  
"But I don't want you with me all the time!" Kozue protested.  
  
"You don't want me with you, Darling?" Lum asked her tearfully. Kozue tried to reassure her, then she saw Lum's eyes begin to glitter dangerously. Little sparks of lightning began to arc around Lum's hands as she raised them above her head.  
  
"Oh, no," Kozue said weakly. Zzzaaappp!  
  
She was still smoking faintly as she sat down for her first class. Lum then perched backwards on the desk behind Kozue's. She kept her back turned to Kozue and made little 'hmmp' noises occasionally.  
  
Utena watched the two with an odd expression on her face. After class, she walked by Kozue and pulled her aside to ask her gently, "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Kozue looked over at her in surprise, then nodded reluctantly. "Yeah, maybe I do," she said, smiling a bit gratefully at Utena.  
  
"Hey, boy-girl!" Lum said, glaring at Utena. "Kozue is Lum's Darling, not yours!"  
  
Utena sweatdropped a bit at that. Kozue spoke up, "It's OK, Lum. Utena's already engaged to Anthy." As if on cue, Anthy walked up to take Utena's arm and smile kawaiily to Lum and Kozue. 


	4. Chapter Four

Part Four  
  
Akio Ohtori, the school's Dean of Students, quickly ran by the outdoor table they were sitting at. His normally stylish look was strongly singed along the edges, and his clothes were still smoking lightly. Lum flew along right behind him, her hands upraised to fire off another devastating bolt of lightning at him.  
  
"Akio no Baka!" the clearly furious Lum roared, and then she let loose with another massive lightning bolt.  
  
Anthy chased after both of them as quickly as she could manage in her rose bride dress. She seemed to be trying to save Akio's life, or at least to calm the nearly bezerk Lum down, and not really succeeding.  
  
"What do you think he did to her?" Kozue asked Utena curiously, as they watched them all run into the greenery of the rose garden.  
  
"It looked like he tried to grab her bottom," Utena said tiredly. She sighed and shook her head at the behavior of the Ohtori Dean of Students. They shared a nod, then winced at the sound of a lot of glass breaking, and more yelling.  
  
"I was wondering how you manage with Anthy?" Kozue asked Utena curiously, and then waited attentively for an answer.  
  
"I'm not quite sure what you mean," Utena said, playing dumb.  
  
"I mean, well, Lum follows me everywhere, she insists we're engaged, and she," Kozue blushed a bit, "slept with me last night!"  
  
"I try to keep in mind that Anthy didn't ask to be engaged to me," Utena explained to Kozue gently. "She's just fulfilling her role as rosebride," Utena said a bit sadly, "there's nothing personal in it."  
  
"You'd like there to be, though," Kozue said softly, looking across at Utena. She blushed a bit, not confirming or denying.  
  
"From what I've heard," Utena said hurriedly, "Lum didn't have much choice but to be engaged to you."  
  
"According to her people's custom," Kozue said with a weary sigh. "But I never asked for any of this!" she suddenly shouted.  
  
"Did Lum?" Utena pointed out.  
  
Kozue stopped. "No, I guess not," she admitted. She looked thoughtfully over at Utena, "So I should just make the best of it?"  
  
"Basically, yes," Utena said with a nod. Just then Lum flew from behind the rose garden to tackle Kozue.  
  
"Darling, did you miss me?" Lum said cheerfully, planting a kiss on Kozue's cheek. The blue haired girl blushed mightily.  
  
Anthy calmly walked out of the garden and over to where they were sitting. "So, how's Akio?" Utena asked her curiously.  
  
"I think he'll live," Anthy answered, an impish little smile teasing the corners of her mouth. She looked over at Lum, "It looks like things will be much more interesting around here with you around." 


	5. Chapter Five

Part Five  
  
"I'm going totally insane," Kozue sighed to herself softly, laying back on the small single bed. Her arms were folded behind her head, unconsciously pushing her breasts up higher. She closed her eyes, flopping one of her arms across them to block out the morning sun.  
  
'I haven't got laid in weeks,' she thought to herself despairingly, 'and it doesn't look like the dry spell will be ending anytime soon.'  
  
Lum stepped out of the other room, walking towards the bathroom in her usual tiger striped tiny bikini. "Darling," she asked sweetly, "is it all right if I shower first?"  
  
"Sure, go ahead," Kozue sighed. 'There goes the source of my troubles, right there,' she thought to herself mournfully.  
  
Before she could continue, Lum stepped back out, nude, a towel draped over her shoulder. She seemed unashamed of her nudity, proud of her slim form, as she said softly, "If you like, you can come wash my back for me."  
  
Kozue started, realizing that she'd been staring at her for quite a while as she stammered out, "No, no, you just go on ahead." Lum gave her a cute little pout before finally going back into safety of the little bathroom.  
  
"I don't know how much longer I can take this," Kozue said despairingly.  
  
Kozue sat in class, trying to ignore the looks she was getting. Lum sat on top of her desk, smiling at Kozue and ignoring the teacher as well as their fellow classmates.  
  
Kozue had to crane her neck a bit to look around Lum's pert breasts as she tried to see the blackboard. She didn't dare look at any other students, as she knew what would likely happen: the madly jealous Lum would zap them.  
  
Every attempt at a date over the past few weeks had been totally scared away. The girls didn't even dare try approach her, as Lum was an equal opportunity zapper, too. One time she had actually managed to get a sort of cute boy in her bedroom and Lum out of there for a while. Things were progressing quite nicely for them, they were both naked, in the bed, he was just about to enter her when... Lum decided to come back home early. She stopped cold there in the doorway, and Kozue and him both froze, waiting to see what she'd do.  
  
The poor boy's screams of pain and terror could be heard throughout the dorm, and it was the talk of the school for the next day and several afterward. The good news was, it looked like his pubic hair would, eventually, grow back.  
  
They had gotten a official letter the day after, moving them both into the east dorm, signed by the Dean of Students, Akio, himself. She understood the reasoning, putting them in the nearly deserted dorm might cut down on the innocent bystanders being hurt, not to mention the property damage, but it made their situation even stranger.  
  
Every day, she had to watch the seemingly perfect couple, Utena and Anthy, together. It got quite sickening, honestly, how sweet they were to each other. And Lum was there, smiling sweetly and mostly unclothed, all the time.  
  
Suddenly, she was jarred out of her thoughts by a loud bell, and saw students all getting up to leave. 'Class over already,' she sighed, then noticed the teacher's wave.  
  
"I understand you're dealing with an unusual situation," he smiled, putting his hand on her shoulder, "and I'd like to help."  
  
Before she could even try to warn him, Lum appeared behind him, obviously furious. "Hands off my Darling!" she roared, and cut loose.  
  
Kozue looked down at the smoking, out cold teacher and sighed out, "It's going to be a long term, I just know it." 


	6. Chapter SixFinal

Part Six

"Don't even think about it," Kozue growled, the blue haired young woman glaring at the young man in front of her. Lum pressed herself to Kozue's back, looking over her shoulder fearfully.

"Come on, all I want is a bit of payback now that her powers are gone..." the young man complained right before Kozue punched him in the face. There was a odd crunching noise as she did do, and when he staggered back blood ran down his nose.

"Lum may be helpless but I'm not," Kozue rubbed her aching knuckles as she continued irritably, "get lost!"

"Oh you are going to pay for that," he howled as he fled.

"Coward," Kozue muttered right before she was nearly tackled from behind,

"Thank you, Darling!" Lum hugged Kozue fiercely, the black haired girl pressing her bikini clad body firmly against Kozue's back.

Kozue blushed darkly, feeling a sudden flash of heat pulse through her at that innocent contact. Pushing those now frequently occurring feelings aside she answered Lum gruffly, "It's all right, Lum. I couldn't let them hurt you when you've temporarily lost your powers."

Lum moved up to stand at Kozue's side and then they set off together towards the East dorm. "It'll only be two or three more days," she said to Kozue reassuringly, "then everything will be back to normal."

Seeing how nervous Lum seemed Kozue put her arm comfortingly around Lum's shoulder. Lum smiled and leaned into Kozue slightly, resting her head on Kozue's shoulder. Trying to ignore how nice this felt she asked, "So why did you powers fail this morning when you tried to zap Kiryuu for peeping?"

"It's my time of the month," Lum sheepishly confessed, "and the changes in my body during this time makes it impossible to use my powers."

"Ah," Kozue blinked, blushing faintly.

"Don't worry," Lum snuggled closer to Kozue's side as she cheerfully explained, "I'll be back to normal soon."

Kozue could feel her pulse race as Lum pressed her pert breasts into Kozue's side as she walked, the warmth of Lum's gaze. More and more as the weeks had passed she had found herself becoming aware of Lum's physical beauty, despite all of her efforts to deny it.

"Oh, now what?" Kozue growled out as she saw a familiar figure standing there waiting impatiently by the dorm.

Arisugawa Juri looked up as they neared, the orange haired school council member dressed in her unique variation on the usual uniform. Her long legs were sheathed in white pants and her breasts were concealed beneath her military style jacket.

"Are you here about that idiot Kiryuu?" Kozue demanded.

"Yes, but not the way you think," Juri said seriously as she swiftly reached out and shook Kozue's hand.

"Huh?" Kozue blinked.

"I'm pretty certain that a large number of ladies at Ohtori are going to want to thank you for knocking President Kiryuu off that ladder," Juri smiled charmingly.

"Hands of my darling," Lum scowled cutely.

"It's all right," Juri unconsciously reached up to finger the locket she wore, "I already have a ball and chain."

"Humph," Lum looked unimpressed.

"You do have another problem, though," Juri said with a compassionate smile as she focused her attention on Kozue.

"Oh?" Kozue asked, wondering what fresh complication was coming.

"Nanami Kiryuu is... more than a little upset about her big brother being hurt by you," Juri revealed.

Kozue groaned softly. Even she was aware of Nanami's infatuation with her brother and the unhealthy lengths she'd go to pursue it. Of course she'd be upset at her brother's injuries and if the stories were right Nanami'd be out for revenge.

"Any idea what she's got planned?" Kozue asked wryly.

"You already punched out one of her minions," Juri said wryly, "subtlety is not one of Nanami's strong suits."

"For Nanami!" a group of young men cried as they burst from the woods nearby carrying wooden practice swords.

"Damn it," Juri produced a sword from nowhere and tossed it to Kozue.

"Where did that come from?" Kozue caught it as Juri drew another sword.

"I'm a anime lesbian," Juri said confidently, "I'm always prepared!"

"Right," Kozue sweat dropped as the first of the young men reached them. She ducked below a blow then slashed, slicing the wooden sword in half.

Juri was poetry in motion as she ducked in struck, slashing weapons apart with lethal grace. "This is the best Nanami could do?" she scoffed.

"Darling, look out," Lum cried then there was a muffled cry.

Wheeling around Kozue saw Lum crumpled to the ground, a blonde haired girl with a smug look standing over her. "You hurt my brother," Nanami said coldly, "and I am going to punish you personally."

"Nanami, how dare you..." Juri started.

"No," Kozue's voice vibrated with barely contained rage, "she's mine."

"Oh ho ho ho ho," Nanami laughed as she hefted her sword, "do you really think..."

SMACK!

Completely disregarding her weapon Kozue hammered Nanami across the face with her first, sending her staggering backward. "You hurt someone I care for very much," she growled, "do you think I'm playing fencing games with you?!"

"Wait just a moment," Nanami's eyes were wide with surprise and just a bit of fear.

"Kozue...?" Lum blinked dazedly, looking on with wide eyes.

"Shut up," Kozue tackled her, hammering a fist into Nanami's gut. She grabbed Nanami by her braid and drove her head into the turf.

"Miss Nanami!" one of the men moved to help only to be stopped by Juri.

"This is between them," Juri held up her sword, "unless you'd care to face me?" The men looked at each other then stepped back as Juri smiled coldly, "Thought not."

Nanami managed to wriggle free of Kozue's furious grip, leaving some hair behind in the process. "You barbarian," she said through tearful eyes, "you hurt my brother!" She tried to throw a punch, but was clearly unused to this sort of direct confrontation.

"And you hurt someone I love," Kozue punched Nanami in the face.

"Oeee," Nanami made a incoherent noise, swaying there a moment. Then she gracefully fell backward, hitting the ground with a thump out cold.

Kozue turned to the shocked boys, "Get her out of here. And when she wakes up tell her this: if she tries this again I'll do even worse."

"Yes. Ma'am," the boys bundled up the bloody and dirty Nanami and fled.

Kozue sighed tiredly, taking in her own soiled clothes and dirty hands. "What else can go wrong?" she muttered.

"DARLING!" Lum tackle glomped her to the ground.

"Ack!" Kozue gasped.

"You said you cared for me," Lum squealed, "you love me! I'm so happy!"

"I didn't mean..." Kozue stammered as she rolled over, Lum perching on her chest, "I mean, I did mean it but not..."

Lum swooped forward and kissed Kozue lingeringly, silencing her. "Thank you for fighting for me, beloved," she said simply.

"I think I'll just leave you two alone," Juri said with some amusement as she left them still talking on the lawn.

End

Notes: A shout out to Strife for reminding me this fic exists. Lol. I wanted Kozue to admit to caring for Lum at least, and I thought her doing it in the heat of the moment was believable.


End file.
